Family

My brother is living with this woman in California. She's married to someone else. Her husband, C, also lives with them. And so does his girlfriend. My brother's girlfriend, S, calls it polyamory. My brother calls it being able to pick your own family.

There are all sorts of things to be said about my brother in his nontraditional relationship; and all of us that like to pat ourselves on the back will be thrilled that S & C are filing for divorce so that she and my brother can have kids. S recently confided in me that she had "grown out of it."

But the thing that really fascinates me is being able to pick your family.

There are a handful of people in my life, two to be exact, who I know I will know my whole life, and who are like family to me. They are, not unexpectedly, also my exes. My ex-girlfriend H is "still" gay, and has a lovely girlfriend (who is not good enough for her), and just asked me tonight "Do you think you'll want to move to Atlanta in about 5 years?"

Veritas: "I will never moved to Atlanta. That's about as good as Houston."
H: "No, it's better than Houston!"
V: "It's just one big suburb."
H: "yes, well..."

Her parents are probably moving to Atlanta when she's done with.. whatever she'll be done with then. And she wants me to be in the same place. And I want to be in the same place as her. I want her to be around my kids. Call her an Aunt. Whatever you like.

And then there's J. I don't have the same confidence in him that I have in H, but I know that I want him in MY life forever. And around my kids.

I have my "real" family too. And they're very special to me and close and all that. My dad and mom are two of the most inspirational people I know, for all sorts of reasons that I may or may not go into later.

I suppose there are things that I would ask my blood relatives to do that I wouldn't ask J or H to do. But there is nothing I wouldn't do for them. Is it a double standard, or would they just not ask for anything the same way I wouldn't ask them?