What we Talk about

In college, I was in a play/performance piece called "What We Talk About When We Talk About Love." It was based on a short story by Raymond Carver. The play/story is pretty irrelevant, but the things it brings to mind, just as a statement... Well, that's what I'm thinking about today.

Ran the Crescent City Classic again. Last time I ran it () I ran pretty fast. This year, I was pretty fast, but not as fast. But close.

I spent after the race with two older married friends and a divorced friend. All three have kids who are just younger than I am, but they are all old enough to be my parents. Initials won't help today, because they're all Ms. Married M&M have a fascinating relationship; they've been together for 30 years and they bicker and are unhappy and have been on the rocks especially since Katrina but they'll never get divorced. Mostly, b/c she can't provide for herself and he doesn't have the backbone to leave her. Divorced M, on the other hand, has been thrown back into the fray with all the rest of us single gals. Needless to say, she promptly lost about 30 pounds and she looks fabulous, and... do we ever grow out of that?

Then I spent some time with two young(er) friends, again, still older than I am. J is 44, S is 30something. 32? And we went to a movie and then to dinner/lunch...

The remarkable thing about both experiences is how mean we all are to each other. Especially when sex is involved. Or "love". But also, we mock our friends. We give them a hard time. We tease. What's that about? We make little jibes, some are bigger. Today we almost drove S to tears; altho not teasing necessarily. J said some really not Nice things that hurt my feelings. I realize I am the sensitive one... but then I think we're all sensitive. It's just a matter of when we set it free.

So, instead of this "circle jerk" I've had with my girlfriends, why is it that we're mean when men are around? Isn't that the only difference?