Bachelor Parties

I can't even really begin to tell this story because it's so completely absurd.

The other night, I met a guy who happened to be on a first date with a friend. I was pretty sure she wasn't interested, and he was pretty sure he was interested in me. We had all been drinking, so it was lots of fun, and hurrah and...

So his friend is getting married, and he very kindly invited me along to the bachelor party. Is this real? Did that happen? Are women even allowed at bachelor parties? Well, as A- said later, "If you gals hadn't been there it would have been about as thrilling as watching paint dry, what with all us blokes."

Oh, did I forget to mention they're British? All of them. British. A and S are from Liverpool, P from London, and I never got an origin from D. But trust me, all British. With teeth to prove it.

So my best girlfriend N and I get dressed to the nines, have a great dinner, go on to the strip club... At this point, she has picked up The Mastadon (beer goggles, my dear), and the groom is totally smitten with me, and telling me that I make a man have doubts.

*sigh*

How does this happen, really? So.. blah blah blah.. strip club, lap dances... blah blah blah... new bar... blah blah blah... another bar run by a friend of mine that just happens to be an Irish bar. Does anybody remember C? Anybody? Brought me a pumpkin on our first date? Right. He runs the bar.

Well, then C's bartender needs some change, and C says to me, "Want to see my office?" And next thing I know I'm having sex on the desk. I realize only afterwards that there is a security camera pointed directly at us, but he reassures me there is no tape, etc.

He called me yesterday to tell me that he and the Irish Bar have parted ways... and I can't help but wonder if there was a tape somewhere.

So that's pretty much the end of the evening. Did kiss A, sweet old chap that he is, and he is now permanently smitten and calling and texting every other minute.

So what do I do? When S (the groom, mind you) emails me and invites me to see the show we talked about tonight, I think... what the hell? The music is damned good.