Decisions

For the first time in my life, I'm actually dating more than one guy at a time.

So the trick here is: Is it possible to give honest attention to more than one person at a time? Is it possible not to favor one over the other? That seems to be the real issue.

I find myself favoring one over the other, only to be disappointed. C & I watched the Red Sox sweep the series (Woo Hoo!) on Sunday night, had an outstanding time, and I think all is well and good. At the end of the night we both want to hang out more, so I spend the night, although we do not Do It. And I'm thinking... OK, this just might work. And then I think "Poor B, (who I met on Saturday night), who I think thought I really liked," but A is enough to give him a run for his money.

Let's be frank: B picked me up at a party: he saw something he wanted, an went to get it. There is something very intoxicating about being pursued so adamantly... about a man who takes you to an upstairs bathroom only to pull up your dress and try to have sex with you on a stranger's vanity. I mean, third base is one thing... but I know better than to ruin a good time with a one night stand, right?

That, and I didn't have protection in my purse, and I made H a promise.

And in B's defense, C was in the same position... well. Except we were laying down. Both boys get to third base... but I behave myself. And let me just tell you, C gave some pretty great head for a 26 y/o: enough to make a girl want to go out with him again, for damn sure. He did all kinds of great uterine massage... Let's just say the boy's got skillz.

But back to the matter at hand: both boys waited the prerequisite 24 hours to call me, although plans with C for yesterday got wrenched over and over again. And now I'm going out with B tonight. How do you carefully tell a boy that you already have another date?

No matter what, I'm still afraid of being forgotten or overlooked. Still in my head rumbles around this idea that if I just "do the right thing" the boy will like me. I know I have to be ME, but the game is part of the game.

Perhaps the game just has to be the FUN of it, no? Halloween, here we come!