She's Baaack.

How delightful. Truly delightful and wonderful and fun to be herself again.

I just came back from another evening with P-... You may remember him from being out of alphabetical order nearly a year ago. After many months apart, and then back again working out at my gym, and a rekindled friendship, we have started training. Mixed martial arts training. Yes, the storied male-dominated sport that was made (in)famous on payperview in the late 90s. I decided it was time to stop being afraid and start being comfortable. An extra 20 pounds can only be protection, so I decided to take up a new kind of defense.

And somehow in the midst of this... a relationship has developed. We have spent time together, and I have rediscovered how well suited we are for each other - for whatever it is. We are truly friends, and have a great understanding of one another, and of other people and world view. And perhaps now I understand what that means too, and its importance.

Regardless after weeks of training, and rolling around with him between my legs (how was it NOT sexual?), he kissed me tonight. After admitting weeks ago he was not whole, I suppose I was waiting for him to be ready. And I am not certain of any of it, but he is so careful and kind with me. I suppose whatever happens will be well, and will be what it is.

Not to mention the fact that I dreamt of him last night; going to his house for a "training" session, which was a thinly veiled plot to kiss me and roll around the way men and women usually do. And tonight he got a hard on while we were training (!); and how lovely for us both to handle it so well, and what a surprise that it had not happened yet.


And after arriving home, and thinking of the Gatsby and all the other things -- A card! 3 postcards, in fact, from the Aran Islands. From the sweet young bartender who took a liking to me and what a darling he really was and ... how perfectly dear of him! 3 postcards!!

I have recovered now from hopping around the house like a giddy school girl, and settled down to let my faithful reader(s) know: She's back.