Ah ha!

I get it. I finally get it.

This feeling that happens every time I get involved is the feeling of getting involved too quickly; being roped into something before I am sure of it. It's taken me this long to figure it out.

I have that familiar feeling with P-. The "uh oh" feeling, the "what am I doing here?" feeling. The "get out as fast as you can" feeling. It's all related to jumping into something too quickly. My instinct says "this is going to fast, and you don't know what's happening."

We'll see if it's possible to go backwards. Shall be interesting.

In hindsight, I miss Gatsby terribly.