What you learn when you travel

I just got back from Ireland, mostly Dublin. I spent 11 days galavanting about, doing anything I wanted, whenever I wanted. I continue to prefer traveling alone, since it allows so much freedom to really decompress and rest one's tired brain and heart.

I found I was always in good spirits, even cycling in the cold windy rain to end up at Dun Aengus - which was closed. Everything was an opportunity, and all was positive. I had a brilliant time... but I also didn't judge it. It was already fantastic before I started, which made for a really exceptional experience.

I wonder what makes it this way about traveling. Perhaps I am better when I am out of my routine - more kind, more positive, happier. I thought with S- we were always better when traveling. I suppose I thought it was because of him; now I'm realizing perhaps it was because of me. I was kinder, maybe. More patient. I had fewer (if any!) expectations, so everything was a pleasant surprise.

I am also struck by how much I missed The Gatsby. He got in my head before I left; admitting he was interviewing for job at Tulane. It made me revisit all the things I had put to rest before that. He left. He was gone from my life - and it was time to move on. And now... cliffhanger.

Had he discovered, after being away a few months, how much he missed New Orleans? Or that he missed me? Or is he simply continuing to allow life to float him along, and following the lead.

What I have discovered, in the wake of it, is that I miss him. I still miss him. I wished he was with me on countless occasions. Thought constantly of things he would enjoy. And am convinced I would have had a doubly fun time had he been there with me.

So the question lies: what do I do with that information?