Well, there was that.

A month ago, I re-met this boy. We'll call him Kenny.

Kenny was enamored with my new haircut. He was also too young for me. When the 31 year old I'm dating is too young, 26 is too young too.

So he adds me as a friend on facebook. 21st century dating protocol being what it is... and we FB chat, then we start G-chatting... finally we progress to texting. Before I knew it I had spent every day with him for a week and he was my "bff" and then, all of a sudden, my soulmate.

There were some issues, sure. He was still too young. He was in a "rough spot" - between jobs, sleeping on a friend's couch, broke. But he had Potential. And God love him, he was so smart, and funny, and clever. And he came up with about 500 different puns on my name, which was really fun. My most favorite referenced a popular communist leader.


We tiptoed and then danced around and finally walked right up and acknowledged something had happened between us. Something romantic. "The irony is not lost on me that you are telling me what's best for me while you represent exactly the opposite." I bet him that he couldn't stay single until January 1st.

Here's the real irony: I made a bet with a compulsive gambler. A bet I secretly hoped he'd lose. What an idiot.

Because as soon as he came into some money, he disappeared into a self-described "off-the-radar bubble," and suddenly became elusive, evaporative. Made commitments and just bailed on them. Changed plans at any moment. Became simultaneously self-absorbed and self-abhorrent.

The hardest thing about it is walking away. Clean cuts. Clean separation. If I hear from him again, which is a big IF, I'll let him know my concern. How much I care. And that if he doesn't go to a program, I have no desire to see him again.

Nothing else I can do, really. Very hard to just let go and walk away. But it's both the best thing I can do for him, and the best thing I can do for me. Give him the space to come back here when he needs to, and be ready to be very clear when he does.

We had a beautiful weekend of pancakes, crossword puzzles and football. It was lovely, and I loved him. I still love him for that weekend, and for making me hopeful, even if it was never meant to be.