Resisting Temptation

It has been a strange few weeks. It's more than me just being "back in the game." It's like I'm back, but on steroids. I wonder if this is simply the confidence of getting older and knowing myself and that I'm great, or if it's something else.

First, there was the liar. Met him in a bar, making a bet about who was older in exchange for a cigarette. He managed to guess exactly the right year, claiming to be exactly my age. And he was cute. And charming. And a good dancer. And, let's face it, I'd been drinking.

So, one thing lead to another, there was a visit to Ms. Mae's, and then it was pouring outside. All of a sudden, we're hot and heavy in a downpour in his backyard.

Hours later, in his bedroom, naked and smoking cigarettes out the window, he says, "So I lied about something..."

Turns out he's 23. All of a sudden, I'm a cougar, except I'm not old enough to be a cougar. And instead of being angry, or leaving, or anything, I just laughed and enjoyed it. And when he tracked me down on Facebook (21st century dating what it is), I wasn't disappointed - just added him as a friend and let him booty text me. Haven't taken advantage of him yet, but it's fun to have one in the bag.


Not two weeks later, my Married Friends had a college buddy in town visiting for Halloween. We had an initial very clear attraction, and I made a playful plan with Wifey to seduce him. Purely to assist them in their attempt to convince him to move to our great city. The next night, I went to their house for the Saints game. After a couple or eight drinks, and on our second or third smoke break, I gave him my 20 minute Joseph Campbell-style life coaching session... and had totally "split his wig." I challenged him to take control of his life. To find the thing that made him happy, and go after it. And it was almost as if I gave him permission to "follow his bliss."

And yes, I knew he had a girlfriend, and no, I didn't particularly care. He needed to be kissed after that, so there it was. The one kiss led to a series of kisses, and a night full of kisses and caresses and no sex. Because I didn't need to, and I knew he couldn't handle it. I had upended his worldview, and it just didn't seem fair to upend his sexview. He was already pretty amazed that I would touch myself while he was in the bathroom.


There are some other little flirtations in there. Other friend's dates. Twitter friends.


I adore all of them, and am enraptured with none of them. They are all resistible.

And yes, when it turned out the Gambler was coming to the same place I was some weeks ago... I fled. I wasn't ready. Is this me not being interested in people interested in me? Getting laid is important, and worth it. And even with the Insurance Adjuster from Columbia, I made a conscious choice to be Present, and enjoy it, and stop thinking I Knew More than he did -- because all that did was keep me distant from him.

I wonder if I'm just ready now. Maybe I have just finally adapted to adult dating.