Languages

Yesterday the Boy said his name. In Vietnamese. (Did I mention he's Vietnamese?) He was telling me a story about someone else Vietnamese talking to him... and said he name. And I made him go back.

Say that again. He did.

And again. He did.

Is it weird that people mispronounce your name everyday?

In my head, what I was thinking was: I'm your freaking girlfriend and I've been calling you the wrong thing all this time?

It's not really wrong, per se. It's just a pronunciation thing. And he reassures me and qualifies everything by saying that I can't even hear the difference, I can't pronounce the difference. He knows I'm stubborn, so I made him spend the next 3 minutes repeating it back to me, correcting me when I'm wrong. I know I'll still be too afraid to get it wrong to ever say it outloud. He laughs at me when I say it wrong. Well, laughs in an older "my trắng" (white American) kinda of way. I can see myself standing in front of a mirror, saying it over and over and over again. And still getting it wrong.

And yesterday, in a slightly differenet context, I said "Your parents will hate me, won't they?" And they would, he said. I hoped for more just "disapprove" than "hate," and he said yes, probably. And he thought if he were more "successful" now that it would matter less.

So it's more than language, obviously. It's culture. It's cultural value systems. And in my "my trắng" world, it's important for parents to like you. It's vital, actually. And it may be different in other cultures.

We were talking about having your friends like your partner... and he said "I have one friend who won't like you." He is another Vietnamese friend, who is far more typical than the Boy. I asked, "Would he only like me if I were Vietnamese?"

"Yeah, if you were Vietnamese," he said. Then he thought a sec and said, "Or if you were really hot." And I knew what he meant was "typical" hot girl - tall, thin, blonde, made up. And I realized then it was okay if friends like that didn't like me.